Games
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I’ve been coming to this website for many years now. I’ve decided that instead of constantly suckling off of the F: AT knowledge teat, like a gluttonous piglet, I’m going to give back. What you don’t want my opinions and observations? Well too bad because I’m going to give them anyways. Hey you in front, hands down please; we will be doing a Q&A afterwards.
So I’m Egg Shen, but to most folks I’m Mike. Unlike the character from Big Trouble in Little China I have no cool powers. Hell, I don’t even have any potions. I’m dreadfully normal. Oh, and I’m white. Don’t let the picture in the forums fool you. Yep, I’m just an average, typical, white guy with lots of board games. Shocking I know. Here, use these smelling salts on the gentlemen that fainted in the back.
I feel like The Fort is one of the last bastions on the web for great board game discussions. The people that contribute to this site and keep it afloat with content are top notch. Many of them offer in depth analysis and review of the latest gaming has to offer. Since I feel that the site has that stuff covered I’ve decided to go in a different direction.
So what can you expect from old Eggy? Well, for now I’m planning on pushing out content on a bi-weekly schedule for the foreseeable future. Most of the time my articles will just be general board gaming chatter. Whatever I find interesting. It might be dissecting a particular theme, going over a mechanic etc… I will also be reviewing games. However, I will not be reviewing anything “HOT”, current, or en vogue. The Fort has reviews for newer games on lock down. No, I’ve decided to turn my discerning eye to games that the masses may have shunned. I’d like to cover stuff that I think people on this website might have overlooked. Sure I’ll occasionally review something newer, but I wouldn’t expect it to happen often. I’m also going to tinker with blending my love of other hobbies into my gaming discussions. We’ll see how that goes.
I guess now would be a good time to go over some basic likes and dislikes that will help you peer behind the veil that is the Mysterious and All Knowing Egg Shen. I will try almost any game, from the driest of Euro to the silliest of party game. Games that bring emotions to the table tend to become a favorite of mine. A table filled with cheers, jeers, fits of agonized harrumphs and f-bombs are all signs of a great time to me. I enjoy negotiating and games that encourage alliances or backstabbing. Rolling a fistful of dice almost always makes me happy. My favorite game is Cosmic Encounter. Favorite game designer? Bruno Faidutti. I’ll go on record and say that Bohnanza is Rosenberg’s masterpiece, not Agricola. I can break down any subject matter into top five or top ten lists...and often do. Skinny jeans on men over forty-six are a fashion faux pas. You should never grow a beard exclusively on your neck. Kristen Stuart’s face took acting classes from my butthole after I’ve eaten five-alarm chili. Tom Cruise is crazier than a sack of rabid muskrats, but I still love him. You all leave Tommy alone.
Perhaps most importantly though…When I was six years old I saw a young woman at the beach playing paddle ball near the shore. She was wearing a thong bikini. It was one of those 80s style thongs that rode up high along the hips. You know, tasteful. As I walked closer to her I noticed something on her left bum cheek. It was a tiny picture! Closer and closer I staggered towards her. The picture slowly came into focus. It was a tattoo of sexy, red, lips. As if a lover had smooched her ass and seared the moment onto her delicate flesh. As I kept walking the lips seemed to hypnotize me. Like a Siren’s song they beckoned me towards them. Closer and closer I meandered until suddenly I SMASHED face first into the bronzed behind! We were both stunned. She turned and looked down upon me as I sat bewildered in the sand. She giggled and flashed me a bubbly expression. Her smile was like carbonation escaping into the air from a chilled glass of champagne. Just thinking of it now fills me with an effervescent joy. As I grow older I often think of her and how her toned, tight, sun kissed, buttocks molded me as a man…Aaaaaaaand this got weird in a hurry!
Ahem. So what’s in the immediately pipeline? The past couple of months I’ve been prepping to get a queue of articles ready to go for your consumption. Right now I’ve got a few reviews ready to publish. There are also a couple of retrospectives on games to see how they’ve held up over time. I’d like to cover some expansions since they never seem to get optimal coverage. One thing that I’m hoping to do is compare 1st and 2nd editions…or comparisons of original games to their reprints. Lots of ideas are brewing! I’m very excited. Please feel free to hit me up with any ideas or suggestions for an article. If you’d like to know anything else just go ahead and ask. Hopefully my contributions are entertaining and informative. Most importantly I hope they are up the lofty standards that this site is known for.
